Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
