my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
