i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
