FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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