what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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