She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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