He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize