I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
