Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
