Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
