is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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