We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
where am i from again
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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