after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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