If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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