I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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