i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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