i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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