absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
