I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
