i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
