god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
