i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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