Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
