the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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