We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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