You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
