Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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