Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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