He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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