Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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