if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
