I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I did not marry a roomba.
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