we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize