Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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