I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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