Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
