Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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