I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
