i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
