i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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