It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
