I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
