If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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