all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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