Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize