he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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