i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
