I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
