sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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