if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Randomize
