Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
