Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize