But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
