no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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