you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
