Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
