I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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