you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
