I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
