you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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