What did we do last night that was yellow?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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