U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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