READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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