I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
