he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
