You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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